Tips

Here’s a tip for the season of Thanksgiving.

Marshall Rosenberg’s teachings on gratitude have made this practice more effective and more enjoyable for me so I’m reminding you of how to express it the Compassionate Communication way. Try it and see what kind of results you get.

First, of course, is the Intention: to connect with honesty and empathy from the heart and to meet everyone’s needs.

Then the Observation: “When I see you put your toys away.”

And the Feeling: “I’m thankful. “

Followed by the Need: “because I love getting help in making the house clean and orderly.”

A Request: gives the other person something to do with what has just been said. “ Do you enjoy hearing that?”

Here’s another example: “I’m grateful when I hear you clearly ask for what you want because I care very much about your well being. Also it’s important to me to have an open and honest relationship with you. Would you be willing to talk with me a little more about it?”

Notice I didn’t volunteer to be the agent that meets the other’s needs. I may choose to offer my time and energy. I may choose not to. Hearing the other’s request, and understanding her/his feelings and needs does not obligate me to try to fulfill them!

Practicing will help you come up with your natural language.

I’d love to receive your comments, feedback, and news! Email me at selene@TheDanceOfCommunication.com

Download a brochure [PDF 1.5 MB]